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The Patchwork Quilt of Addiction

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I'm not really a monster


Christine
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Christine
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19 years ago 0 456 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I quit on wed afternoon.. At 5:00 a sheriff came by and said a neighbor had complained about my oler son's border collie not being on a chain. We live on 5 acres and she never leaves or bothers anyone. I was so distraught that I broke down and cried and yelled at the sheriff to get off my land and that I hated him. I then called my son and told him to come home this instant and build a fence or do something NOW !!! I was ready to attack anyone who even tried to talk to me. I told everyone to leave me alone and I would tell them when it was okay to talk to me. I did calm down. I don't feel bad though.. for God's sake, if I was quitting heroine, no one would think a thing about my mood change.. and it is harder !!! I am doing okay though.. on my terms I can do this.. Don't feel bad.. you are in withdrawl !!! chris
cincere
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cincere
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19 years ago 0 96 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Wow!! Last night was a kicker. Out of the blue, I had such a strong crave that I didn't know if I would make it. I ran to my computer and yikes ,I couldn't get online. I discovered that my 15 year old had erased my user name and password and I couldn't remember what it was.I screamed and told him that he wasn't ever to touch the computer again, that it was mine and he'd have to buy his own. What a tantrum I took. I felt so angry that I wanted to rip his head off. Oh my god. Here I am ,a 37 year old acting like a spoiled kid.I wanted/needed a smoke soooo bad. I thought about searhing for my husbands cigarettes, Iwanted to give up, I was feeling so much anger. It's hard to believe that I was feeling so positive about my quit just a few days before. This wasn't the 30 day hump I"ve heard about,this was an enormous mountain. Thank god I made it through... I focused on my breathing for what seemed like hours until my blood pressure returned to normal and finally went to sleep. This morning,I appologized profusely to my son and sat all of my kids down and asked them to please bear with me. I explained about my withdrawls and hopefully they will see that addiction is nothing to fool with. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/4/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 29 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 741 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $326.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24
kitty
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kitty
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19 years ago 0 64 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cincere, I know what your going through. I feel like im in a bad mood all the time, im constantly telling everyone that im usually not this nasty. I remember being a lot nicer when i smoked. I sure hope it ends soon, I mean im glad that i quit and i dont want to go back to smoking, but i feel like quitting made me a mean person. I know that sounds crazy. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 21 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 433 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $105 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 28
brentw1
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brentw1
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19 years ago 0 711 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Great story and great outcome. It will pass.....I'm getting more laid back every day now.... Brent [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/8/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 56 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 398 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �280 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 20 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4
Brubaker
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Brubaker
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19 years ago 0 52 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cincere, We have similar quit dates. I feel lousy to and angry alot of the time. I'm just hanging in by my fingernails hoping it will get better. Hang in there with me. Peter
Lady
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Lady
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19 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cincere... Let's face it....Quitting Sucks! You are at the 30 day mark which seems to be difficult for a lot of quitters. It was for me as well. One thing we can control is our attitudes. Trust me, I have had to put my attitude in check several times. Early in my quit I yelled and screamed at my kids too. I even tried to use that as an excuse to go back to smoking when I was at the stage of the quit you are now. I told the kids...wouldn't you rather I smoke than yell at you all the time. The politely informed me that I yelled all the time before. WOW! That was an eye opener. During this time, be slow to speak and even slower to act. It could save you some humble pie eating in the future. Guess what...I really don't yell as much now. I'm not screaming for a fix. My point is...it gets better. Hang in there. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 216 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,333 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $756 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30
Shevie
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Shevie
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19 years ago 0 2027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Glad you made it through the challenge, cincere. That took a lot of commitment, I know. But you did it and you're stronger for it. I don't know how old all your kids are, but 15 is plenty old enough to understand difficulty. They are watching you, cincere. And they understand much more than you may think, or than they would admit. They are seen their mother struggle with an addiction, and they are seeing her win. That's a great lesson to teach them. Not only about the dangers of nicotine and other drugs, but in determination, conviction, and plain old stick-to-itivness. Keep up the good quit, cincere. Congratulations on a month (more or less) quit. :) Shevie [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/23/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 255 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,114 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $969 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 47 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
Jags
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Jags
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19 years ago 0 167 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi cincere, I hope today is going better for you. I think it gets bad around the 1 month mark because we start to feel confident, maybe too confident, and let our guard down. I am really glad you made it through without smoking. While it may have been bad while you were going through it, you now know that the bad times don't last. That will give you strength for the future. Jags [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/19/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 379 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,593 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1163.53 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 52 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 16 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

  • Quit Meter

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    Days: 8399 Hours: 6

    Minutes: 5 Seconds: 0

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    45873

    Smoke Free Days

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    137,619

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Jags
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Jags
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19 years ago 0 167 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Chris, Yes, people will more readily accept behavior issues from a person quitting heroin. Why? Because heroin is [b]bad[/b]! Smoking is legal, and therefore can't be bad. Many people think smoking is a matter of choice, not an addiction. The only people who will understand what you're going through are the ones that have been there. Looking anywhere else for support isn't going to get you anywhere. You can do this, we can help! Jags [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/19/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 380 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,611 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1166.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 53 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19

  • Quit Meter

    $45,873.00

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 8399 Hours: 6

    Minutes: 5 Seconds: 0

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45873

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    137,619

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

Katy
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Katy
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19 years ago 0 763 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Chris.....here's a ((((HUG))))....hang right in here....it WILL get better! how's the dog?? Is the neighbor still alive?? LOL katy

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    $160,555.50

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    Days: 5983 Hours: 11

    Minutes: 18 Seconds: 12

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    45873

    Smoke Free Days

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    917,460

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