I wrote part of this in another post and have decided to re-post it in this forum and add to it. After writing & re-reading this, I realize that I'm not as okay with this as I said I was.
[Color=Navy]I have gained quite a lot since I quit - I don't know how much because I'm too scared to step on the scale. I'm ashamed of how I look and fell extremely self-conscious. I had lost a bunch of weight over the past year, now I feel bigger than I did before that. I do think a lot of it is bloating/water retention, and plan to talk to my doctor about it. (And, it doesn't help that I've been constipated for the past 34 days!)
Now here's the kicker...
Before I quit, my boyfriend told me that he had 2 "concerns" about me...concerns that were effecting how he felt about me/our future. #1 was my smoking and #2 was my weight. Now explain to me how I'm suppose to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time!!! He's been very supportive in my quit and hasn't mentioned anything about my ballooning weight...I can only imagine what he thinks!
So, as you can see, the whole issue of smoking & gaining weight is very significant & difficult for me. But, despite how disgusted I feel about my body right now, I'm going to keep fighting the nicodemon and will not smoke! I believe that once my body gets used to being smoke-free and totally stabilizes, I WILL lose the weight I've gained. I once read in a post - it's better to live in a moo-moo than die in a bikini![/color]
I [color=Red]know[/color] that I'm not going to smoke, but this whole weight thing is really taking a toll on me (I was going to say "weighing on me";)). I think that I've justified my [i]expansion[/i]to myself by writing it off as bloating. However, I noticed today for the first time that it's not just my tummy, face, & fingers that are "swollen" - my thighs are bigger too. I don't think "bloating" could cause that. So, the realization is truly starting to sink in...I haven't just gotten bloated, I've gotten really fat. I honestly think I've gained 20 lbs in 33 days!
The addict in me says there's a simple fix....start smoking and the bloating, constipation, and fat will all go away. I know this is a junkie thought. I know I can't and won't smoke. But this is really really really hard
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Quit Meter
$1,146,250.00
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 6012
Hours: 17
Minutes: 46
Seconds: 6
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45850
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
917,000
Cigarettes Not Smoked
