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The psychology of smoking and quitting

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 808

Bump up, especially for Milano.

Stay strong.

Not One Puff Ever

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Stay safe & Strong.

Not One Puff Ever (NOPE)

Tim

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 618

Dear Island,

I concur with everything everyone else has said, and yes, this is a great site! Without it, many of us would not have run the course!

After I wrote my 'Dear John' letter, or eulogy I felt so much better, and I re-read it now and again to remind myself of the mess I was when I quit. I am a very different person now, and I feel a better one.

My Mantra for years has been "Never Look Back! The Future is Ahead! I love your one...The way is to get out of the way of the way.

Love Lolly.

11 years ago 0 +0 / -0 639

Say goodbye to your old 'friend' Nic!

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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2778

Hey Island!!!

Some have called it a "Dear John" letter and some, a eulogy. I preferred the eulogy term because I needed to think of it as the death of what I thought was a friend. I never wanted to look into the face of that thing or ever have it coming back into my life. It never will.

It is like mourning if you still consider it as losing a friend. After thinking about it for a bit in the beginning I just couldn't mourn. I became angry at the demon, which seemed to help and when I realized that I had crushed the demon, the anger left and I was one of the happiest quitters ever!

Lots to learn and lots to experience... the roller coaster journey of quitting! Best choice any smoker could ever make!!!

Jim

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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

Thanks for adding all your great insights and comments, Working On It! I learned a lot from your response. The idea of writing a eulogy is great. I'll have to take a look at what you wrote and write one of my own. I agree with what you said about the self-destructive side of us that keeps us locked in. That is the main thing I'm facing now. Trying to embrace a healthy life without that. It would seem like a no-brainer, but of course it is more ingrained than that so easier said than done.

I like that you reminded all of us that the detox from nicotine is really only 3 days. The rest is an interwoven set of habits and tricks we have played on ourselves. It takes time to get beyond those, but finding ways to do things differently can displace and replace these without having to go into them too deeply if you don't want to do that.

I'm doing a little bit of both, but it's a choice I'm making. And I have both a therapist and I'm training to be a therapist so I happen to like going into the muck and trying to figure it all out. It's certainly not for everyone. Some people just need to stop and move forward and not look back. And that works for many. I'm doing a little bit of that too, but every once in a while I pause and reflect on what it all means. It's just part of my curiosity and desire to understand. And it gives me a sense of power if I can pinpoint how something works and why it seems to linger. Labeling it, even just to myself, helps me be able to move on.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hi Working On It,

Your post is very insightful, thank you for sharing and adding to this interesting discussion. I recall you wrote about grieving the loss of a friend in the form of a eulogy. I'm so glad it helped you move forward with new found strength in your quit. Have you experienced feelings of grief since 'letting go'? If so, how have you dealt with those feelings?
Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1140

Hi Island,

I relate to what you are saying about the grieving. In fact, I think I may have even described it as grieving the loss of a friend at one point. One of the health educators then suggested that I write a eulogy to smoking. It seemed like an odd but interesting exercise, so I did it for one of my blogs. Afterwards, I found that I had processed a lot more of the loss from doing the exercise. It really was a significant step in my letting go. Later, I noticed that a few others did the same exercise to help with letting go, as well. If you choose to do it, I hope you'll share it with the rest of us.

As for the mother issues, Oy vey! That one is a toughie. My mother didn't smoke, but she can say and do things that push me towards more self destructive behavior. I still haven't told her that I have quit, since I don't want to hear sabotaging commentary. As Brenda noted about herself on another thread here, I am also working on developing connections and moving away from self destructive behaviors. But sometimes, we've got to to say good-bye to the the familiar--the mean ones that we used to call friends.

I suspect that all of us have some personal issues that led us to smoke and have made it harder for us to quit. Honestly, the physical addiction ain't that big of a thing in comparison to the head trips we all have. Think about it. It only takes 3 days to detox completely. That is all there is to physical addiction. The rest is our mental stuff. Our fears, our anxieties, our behavioral habits, our desire to push others away or draw them closer via the habit, our rebellion against authority, our oral fixations, our refusal to admit that starting was a mistake, our comfort seeking , etc. That's the part we have to examine in order to keep the quit.

Thanks for the great post. I was afraid to address some of the "psycho" issues before. I didn't want to get into a negative, whining discussion that triggered someone's relapse (maybe even mine

) Somehow, the way that you addressed it allows for a more constructive discussion.

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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 270

island,

Absolutely, smoking is not worth it!

Thanks as always for your contributions on the boards.

Sonia

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 32

Thanks. I like this site. The program materials are great and the feedback is all positive and helpful.

I hope if anyone takes anything away from what I said, it is that cigarettes may seem like that friend or glue that you have used as support, but if you really take a hard look at it, they are only a little bit of paper with dried leaves in them that you burn up anyway.

Yet they cost so much in terms of health and money and freedom. It's not really worth it.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Great perspective island! Know that we are always here to offer support. Continue to take it one day at a time and little by little it will get easier.

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The psychology of smoking and quitting